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Still, Victoria was very good only bashed me several times over the head with her Gucci handbag and I think we’d have had a good laugh about it, if security had not been summoned and I hadn’t been manhandled from the building. It’s a shame, actually, that I never got to say goodbye properly, as I wished not only to issue an open invitation to Browningham Palace, but also to do one of my low bows. Of course I watched the programme when it was broadcast and was, I admit, somewhat stunned by Victoria’s opening remark about “having escaped the lunatic in the green room”.

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